Stone Cold

I am in Gorakhpur right now. Its 7:30 in the morning and its stone cold here. The fog outside is overwhelming. Its seems a little out of place, may be because I've always associated deep winters with my home city New Delhi. I am here for my naturopathic treatment. I am not suffering from anything really, it is just for "cleaning the body from the inside."

Here, they put emphasis on lifestyle. The food we eat, the schedule we follow; instead of medicines to cure illness. Apart from that there are "treatments". One of them involves, and reader discretion advised for what lies after this, inserting a tube up one's arse and then inserting warm water; one litre of that. After that the "patient" feels pressure and excretes.

Yeah, don't make a face; because I just had that. This method is supposed to clean the intestines and hence makes the digestive system more efficient. And apparently there are no side effects. The food here is without salt, oil; ultra simple food. I am supposed to walk for 45 minutes both in morning and evening. There are couple of other treatments I have taken so far which are less sinister: hot water bath for legs and hot-n-cold water bags on the stomach. It feels weird; I am just here coz my grand dad. Hope this ends well.

Emotions can be such a bitch

A friend of mine proposed a girl from my college. It's strange how the story resembles the many I have come across earlier. Boy likes the girl; plans out THE moment to propose her; prepares a gift et al; and then a rejection; hurt and lost the boy looks for relief in his buddies; gets drunk; blurts it out; his love, passion and the tragic ending. Every boy I know personally enough to share such things have gone through this story.

It's emotions after all. Care, infatuation, craziness, et al. Its so human. Its not bad always. It can sometimes drive a person to achieve something too far otherwise. Take my friend for example. I am getting the intuition that he's gonna crack some big shot company in order to prove himself. Something he wouldn't have cared about if this incident hadn't happened.

People need an incentive. A reason. They need a driving kick to achieve something amazing. People work because they need money. This money could be fulfilling some or many aspirations/reasons. Money to survive; to have a respectable social status; to give someone's family a comfortable life. Whatever. The whole point of the whole point is: humans need incentive. The girl in our example could have had a reason. She could already have been dating or wanted to date someone else. She could have had a family pressure. She might not have liked my friend in general. The argument tree can grow infinitely in n dimensions with n tending to infinity.

I was just pondering about how everything came into being. The emotions/reasons/money/love: where did it came from. Why us, humans are so much of a slave for them. The answer could lie in our up bringing. The society that we grew in. The elders we saw while growing up. May be our mind indeed was like an empty bucket. It becomes what is filled in. The whole network of do-this-when-this-happens is all created and builds up as we grow and hence in every generation psychological trends tend to repeat.

This is so confusing. Emotions are such a mesh of arguments and nodes. You pick one end and try to reach somewhere, there are chances you will never get there and get lost eventually. It's such a bitch. It's often more reasonable to just shut out the mind when it gets excess and become evil.

Fuck!

home alone: day 5 and 6

Its difficult to write when you have nothing really to say.

Days were ok. Lonely as usual. Anurag joined me yesterday for dinner. We had a sort of night out, played Call of Duty; tried some recipes. It was fun. Different from the awkward silence before.

Rest same routine as usual. I didn't have a proper dinner today. Wasn't really feeling up to it. Made noodles; had boiled eggs and apples. Arrggg. Please someone make the exams end. I want to try something new.

home alone: day 4

I don't have much to tell today. I am just writing this because I promised myself I would make a catalog. The day was not eventful at all. Except, may be, for the exam ( Communication Systems ), which was bad. I am almost flunking in this one. I don't know, may be I was too slack on studies or  may be... Wait, I have it there. The reason. I am too lenient. Distracted.

Morning was a rush to complete the syllabus; amidst the panic that I was forgetting every previous topic along the way. Then was the defeat-conscious travel from home to college. Gave the exam, wrote what I remembered in bits and pieces. Came out with one hour still left. Came back home. Did some "computering". Started studying for the next exam after dinner. Dinner was yesterday's rajma, morning's leftovers and chapatis. "Leftover", Hmm. Seems to be an integral term with people who live by themselves.

Just wound up cleaning the dishes. And here I am writing this. 

home alone : day 3 : back to earth

I am tired already. As if the semester exams were not enough. Living alone without any help is difficult. The worst part is cleaning utensils. The leftovers. Aaargh! Its day 3 and I am beginning to give up.

I got up late as usual and that too because my uncle was at the door. His kindness allows me to have home made lunch, which he delivers while going to office. Thanks to him. I also exercised today. Did some push ups, jumping etc. Then was the usual "studying"

For one thing I am not able to concentrate for more than 10 seconds. I start thinking something else and the already difficult topics become even more impenetrable. I tried doing this for some time and then was back at my distraction: internet. I downloaded Battlefield 2 for my recent interest in games-i-missed-when-in-school. I couldn't concentrate on playing either. Tomorrow's exam kept ringing in my head. Shit.

The day was bad. I went out in the evening to buy milk, bananas and apples. For dinner I bought two chapatis and rajma from a local dhaba.  Rest there was leftover from morning and yesterday. I survived. Cold food. :( And then I am supposed to wash all the utensils I ate in. Now I realize why people are ready to do all the house old work except this part. It stinks. Its cold outside and then you have the work with water. I salute you Mom. How did you kept us alive since we came to this planet.

BUT. I will like to continue. Humans need motivation. That's all. That's what enables them to achieve impossible feats. This is what keeps me motivated:

home alone: day 2

Events of today were overshadowed by my semester exam. Digital Circuit and Systems II! Heavy!


But the night was interesting. I made daal today. :) Although I forgot to add salt and the grains were not fully cooked, it was my food, which I made it. Yeah. I overate out of excitement. In the menu I had, chapati which I bought from a local dhaba here. Vegetables from the morning left over, some salad and my lovey Daal with butter of course. Yum! "Am proud of you Roopam!"

In fact, I am enjoying my cooking. Out of the blue, a thought occurred to me that I should start a teen cookery show. "Dudes in the Kitchen!" :D Sounds like an idea. I'll make a video next time.

home alone: day1

This is crazy. I wake up and realize, I am the only person at home. Mom and Dad are off to Granny's place and it would stay this way for a month. "Seriously!?". Yeah. It feels a little lonely.

Something weird happened this morning. I remember switching off the kitchen's lights after my parents left at 5:30 AM for the station. But when I woke up again at 10, the lights were on. I don't remember turning them on. Strange. May be I sleep walk or something.

Anyway. I'll keep everything posted here.

EDIT: 1310 hours

I wasn't sleep walking after all. I now faintly remember waking up to the bell of kudawala. I remember going to the kitchen and giving him the waste bin. May be that's when I switched on the kitchen lights.


I also feel responsible. Now I can't just throw my clothes on the bed. I need to put them in the washing machine and plan to wash it sometime later.

Cold Food

Its midnight. Am off to sleep. I made omlet today. All by my own. Yeah! Rest was cold food which mom made for me yesterday. Chapatis and Chaney ki sabzi. I even washed my own utensils. Thought, I should share some moments. It was a fine day perhaps, a little lonely may be. But that's ok. Miss you mum, dad!

just a lucky bastard

I drove a lot today. Four hours straight. Probably not a big figure for regular drivers, but it was my first such venture.

It was just my new car celebration; the buddy hormone that made us go on a trip. Me and my buddies; I feel so confident when I am with them. We just took off after the practical to nowhere. We went to sector-4 for no reason, McD there. The original plan we decided, while casually blurting out earlier, was to visit India Gate. Nice. We decided: lets do it.

Nitin got his GPS up and running. Google plotted a map for us from sector 4 to India Gate and we got going. Roads and traffic and red lights and loud music; girls driving past us, stupid brawls between puneet and pawan for fm stations; narrow escapes from hitting other cars; and from them hitting us. It was crazy. We lost our way many times; took many detours, it was fun.

By the time we got around India Gate, the darkness had fallen. Arguments on which turn to take made my driving even more rough; often creating a JAM behind me as I tried taking a left turn from middle of the road. The traffic had swollen. My shoulders were paining. But we got there finally; it was beautiful. I was visiting there after like 10 years or something and it was the first time for Pawan. :) Puneet and Prabhash got drunk. (in the picture) Huh!! They went in the jhadiyan there and did stupid things before the couples getting intimate in the darkness. Lol! I salute to their liveliness and lets-do-it attitude.


What I realized was that there were many situations where my car could have easily met an accident. I just felt lucky. I left my car unlocked at the India Gate parking lot. I felt so stupid when I realized this when we came back. I can correlate this with other things that happened to me. My job at InfoEdge, for example: I had just come back from Mumbai that night. I was checking my Gmail and came to know about this company coming the next day and I said "OK, just because I registered before..", I sat for the written test. It got through. "Really?", I was surprised. Then the interviews, not the most excellent of all times but I got through that even. "Shit!", I thought and in no time, the guy announced my selection. Others felt cheated, I remember. I totally agreed with them.

I guess, I am just a lucky bastard; who got away most of the time. I feel evil to hope that it stays that way. Amen.

effin admit card

I was just casually sitting in front of my computer, doing "nothing". It had been a long day. I needed peace.

And then my dad came into the picture, "tumhara CAT h naa kal?" (you have the CAT exam tomorrow, right?). And I was like.. "yeah?.... whoaa.." So I have my CAT exam tomorrow and its 11PM and I check the iim website for details AND exam starts tomro at 10 AND I realize, I should have taken a print out of my admit card AND no shop will open tomorrow before 10. WTF!!

My effin' admit card. WHYY MEE! So tomorrow, I won't have a chance to take a print of my admit card and I was pretty much sure, I won't give the exam. Fine with me; who's interested anyway. But then, dad will go berserk and hence the necessity to find an alternative. I look for options.

Option 1: My cousin,who lives in dwarka has a printer. I can probably use theirs early morning and then shoot for the exam center.
Option 2: My old printer, now eating dust, can be taken out of the junk and tried upon. Highly unlikely, as its been 3 years since it collapsed and refused to print.
Option 3: Hostel rocks. A friend of mine has a printer. I can wake him up at 7 ( and that's pretty much the time, he goes to sleep) and use his printer.
Option 4:"Really roopam, Are you that a nerd? Take it easy, braw!!"

Nice. I have a list of options now. Step1 done. Option 4, I love you, man. Option1, the most logical considering, all the lecture my dad just gave me. ("You are so fcking lazy and careless. You don't even know you have an exam tomorrow. The whole family's legacy is now broken. Just stick with your girlfriend, talk with her all night and stop your studies. Why do you even live in my house. You've got a job anyway. Ouch, that hurts.

Ok. So I wanted to try Option2, which I did with no success. Option 3 is plan B, but can I get up that early? Oh who cares, I am going to sleep.

Yaawwwnn. Good morning. :) Such a nice day. But, hey, I have an exam today.. and hey, I don't have the admit card. EF! I rushed to my cousin's. It was 8:45 when I got there. And snap, even that printer is broken. Miscommunication can be so evil sometimes. :(  I apologized for the bother I implicated to them and hurried back to Uttam Nagar. I did'nt even knew the address of my center.

My dad called up again, he told me he'll be meeting me at the metro station. Its was 9:15, my exam starts at 10 and the reporting time was 8:30, a good 45 minutes already past. So I was riding with my dad, searching for a cybercafe in the locality. My dad was angry. An idea struck up and I called a guy-i-knew who had the same center as I did. Even he was just waking up and and told me it is somewhere in "Sector D, Pankha Road" in a tone of  ("Please don't disturb me."). Ok dude.

So we rushed there and were riding in random directions. We still didn't have the exact address. And riding and riding and riding, and then I cried.. "papa, papa... ek min ruko". And then I rushed across the street, to the black glass doors and the caught the guy just starting his computers, in my savior "Cyber Cafe". Aaawwww man!

I opened my gmail, downloaded the admit card, took a print out. Rushed back to my dad waiting across the street; we had the exact address and came to the center at 10:05. Cool! The invigilator guy thankfully let me in. And then the morning I had just survived felt like a story.

Random

Cool!
It feels great to blog again. Meanwhile I have been stuck with many involvements that were eating too much time. Finally I've successfully pushed myself to open blogger.com and write a new post. And whoa!!

Things have changed. Blogger is brand new. All tidy and organized. I like it too much. All soft colors, neat and new features. Good work Google. :)

I was thinking on what to write on and then I saw another blog whose author apparently faced the same commotion. The post titled "Random", just said about what happened in the author's life when she was away. And I thought, "thankyou ma'am"!

So, whats been going on?
A lot. I've been stuck with my placements, and after that the mid semester exams. It all has been such a haze. When I was not doing what I was doing, I literally was lost on why I was doing what I was doing. And yeah, I got placed. As charsi aptly commented, "Mr. Aricent!! Hmm.". I was a little downhearted, when mum and dad weren't that excited. And as the legends say "satisfaction is but, a mirage". I was happy though. But being human sucks, (am sorry salman khan). Its just the whole bunch of human emotions, I have to live with. With more companies coming, offering better packages, I am tempted. My friends trying again, makes me feel like left behind. Where's my peace?! Humans will always be imperfect and satisfaction will always be a mirage. ( : a personal dogma, open for discussion. heh. )

Talking about being psycho, now I can almost entirely believe that. Something's wrong with me. May be I have gone something like, aware-psycho. My brain is all fucked up. I don't want to make this post depressing for the reader, hence I'll skip this. Also I've been listening to a LOT of post rock. GIAA, Explosions in the sky, If tress could talk, Mogwai. Awesome stuff. Thanks to ritvik and last.fm. I am so addicted.

Whats else been going on! lemme think..

Yeah. Web Dev. My possible future. I have been involved with a couple of projects. www.thewedbells.com/site  is a wedding planner website I am making with my mentor, Gaurav sir at mlabs. And then there is lifeahead, the startup by "charsi" helping students in SAT prep. Nice, challenging projects, I loved them. I also want to improve my efficiency and the tools I use. Web is evolving so fast. I want to look at examples and learn, what are the new way of doing things. Amazing creativity one sees now a days, websites are more dynamic and easy to maintain. This is definitely where I want my future to be.

Oh, so much more to say. I'll better break it down into separate posts.

..

This has become frustrating. All the placements blues have turned from darkness to depressing. The sudden wave of companies has hit my normal peaceful and productive life and has completely destroyed it. All I do now is sit at home, checking my gmail, trying to study C and trying to figure out why I couldn't make it to the last company.

My Dad told me yesterday, that "tumharey pair do naav par hain" (You are stuck between two sides.) By which he meant that I, although doing my undergrad in Electronics, am trying for a software job. For the later, I have bleak chances, as I'll be competing with the best-in-class COE/IT comrades. Many of whom I know and are very good friends of mine. The reason my conscience tells me: that I dont have interest in electronics, and I always have been inclined to computers. Am a bit of coder too. This feels like.. I cannot conceive a term; like an alien world; like a dead walk; like numb; like I am drowning. Competitions scare me. I'll always been more productive in a non-competitive environment.

So, one thing I have realized, it requires both skill and luck to make it across. I've sat for two companies so far. Adobe and Directi; both of them A++ grade companies and offering very promising pay packages. I couldn't get through in either. Lack of skill is definitely one reason, I need to work on that. I need some luck too. Next up is Winshuttle. Let's see.

Hope the depression does not take away the best from within me.

getting to know myself

I have been going to driving classes recently. I always was of the opinion that I was born to travel. I like travelling. Although sometimes I miss home terribly, but I have the general tendency to prefer living outside as much as possible.

I have traveled outstation without letting my parents know. I have traveled really far, all alone. I have often found myself in trouble. Sometimes out of money, out of sleep. But I have enjoyed it. I have always believed that travelling broadens our thinking and perception. But my health problems have somehow weakened me physically. I now think twice before even going to CP. This feels handicapped.

But I really like driving. I am far from perfect right now, but I know I can get better and be a really good driver someday. I have even imagine myself taking up the job of a driver someday. Duh. Engineering, that is taught to us, seems like a dead end. Exploring the world feels a better future for me. :)

Wait, No. I like coding and computers also. I also, in some part of my conscience, want to be a programmer. Web Designer to be precise. I like it. It's frustrating at times and even bad for health. All the shoulder pain and red eyes and hours sitting on a chair, staring at the monitor, which stares back; it feels crazy.

God help me.

the last train

Yup, so as you can see in the image: I am standing at the metro station and the my clock says 11:30. As it happened, it got very late yesterday while dining with my friends at Fire 'n' Ice, Sector 10, dwarka. The end semester exams had just finished and we were celebrating.

Usually on such an occasion, I stayed in the hostel. But today when I was talking with my dad earlier, he was somehow more persistent for me to get home. He even said that if I missed the metro, he can come here to pick me up. That was unusual. Hmm.

So I got up while my friends were still eating to grab the metro. It was already 10:30 and I knew that the last metro left around this time. Still, I my dad's temper scared me and I did'nt want to give him the trouble to come pick me up all the way from home. So I hit the now deserted streets of dwarka and almost panicked when I could'nt find any single rickshaw in site. The metro station was far off and I knew for sure that I could'nt have made it on foot. Luckily I got one and I had to run and cross the red light for that. So when I reached the station (and it was deserted to the point of looking haunted), I hurried with the checking and the half-asleep guards to reach the platform and was relieved beyond doubt that I made it.

As I hopped on the the next metro, I noticed that it was only till the dwarka station and my stop was ahead of that. This caused me some panic but I thought it better to leave the thinking for when the trouble came. And indeed, soon, the driver announced for all the passengers to de-board at dwarka station as it was the final stop. There were hardly 10 more fellow passengers. Hmm, this could be trouble. But after some tense moments, there was an announcement that the next train is the last train for today and it will go to Noida City Center. Relief. :)

So it was now official, I was on today's last train. It finally arrived and I hopped on. There were a total of around 20 people on the train, all half-asleep, sprawling on the seats. The guy who sat in front of me was drunk, I could smell alcohol. (image attached)

So I finally got home at 11:45 and my dad was ballistic. What happened after that was definitely not the kind of day I imagined as the last day of exam.

mom : berserker

my mom reminds of berserker; a demon in the game 'gears of war' which I played sometime ago.

no offense here, but there is one thing similar. i can't stop her. when she's cleaning the room, believe me, you don't wanna get in her way. specially in the morning, she moves around like a berserker in full anger and concentration.

anyways i love my mom. :)

ecg

I just got my ECG done; came out clear.

I scared the hell out of AB last night over a chest pain which came out to be just an infection.

Well, what could I have done. I was scared myself. Pains for minor durations was frequent with me and pretty much used to now. But this was different. It was painful and I was having serious breathing problems last night. I expected it to abate gradually, but it just wasn't. I was half convinced that it was a heart attack and had almost made up my mind to wake up my dad. (it was 2AM).

Well, it came out to be nothing on those lines. Just infection. Chest Infection. Throat infection, mild fever and all the usual allergy stuff. Sorry AB. :P Love you.

drupal drupal druuuuupaall

yes, this is THE drupal song. Its a maniacal song, kinda echoes around my head randomly. FUCK

So am back on the same spot, where I found myself some months ago. DRUPAL COMMONS.
The installation is a HEADACHE. To beginners at least.
I don't know why udit chose it over simple drupal :-@

notepad

notepad indeed seems to be useful.

the main advantage is that, when copying text from a website or a word document, the format is not copied. so if i select and copy text from a website and paste it in microsoft word or any other sophisticated editor (the pathetic joomla editor for example), the color of the text is also copied. this becomes a headache when editing the content or combining content from different sources. this is where notepad comes in handy. it reads text is some basic format. (ascii most probably, am not sure)both while copying from and copying into.

I never realized this before. I thought notepad was just a useless windows application, which no one ever uses. So yeah, advanced editors exist, but notepad is irreplacable (or the basic editors that come in other OSs)

shifting opinions

Just wound off a very busy day. Was running all the time. Too tired.

I used to hate this song 'emptiness' by that guy Rohan Rathore, who got famous like wildfire and was the country wide heartthrob in no time. I used to hate it for many reasons: ranjeet likes it, hums it around all day; my gf likes it, she likes lany things that depress me, emotional songs and stuff. They depress me. But it's the female stereotype or on second thoughts, may be it generic. Emotions are integral to humans anyway. Am an exception may be. Or a rare person on those lines. Emotions depress me, because I cannot feel them.

But right now, I seem to like this song. I have it playing in the background and it sounds soothing. The music calms me, the voice seems lucid and calming. Things change so fast. Or may be am living too quickly.

better

Today's test was thankfully better. At least I was able to cross the shit!-I-know-only-one-question barrier! Antennas hmm! But that was because I was somehow able to overcome the masochist me and my restless brain. Thankfully! :)

Hoping to do the same ahead. But again my inabilities seem unending. Some people, whom when I meet, I feel lowly in comparison. I can't talk like they do or behave as light-heartedly as they do. Or may be I think too much. Or may be I am looking up to the wrong people. I need some enlightenment on whether the goals that I am targeting are meaningful in my context or is it just the insecure me overreacting and knowingly holding my confidence captive and giving me more reasons to judge myself on the negative side.

And by the way, these songs that I am listening to are pretty provocative emotionally. They go well with a thought train. Cool.

Bad Day

Since the last two days, things have been unfavorable for me. First the disappointment at Directi. Then the bad performance in exam. Plus the bad health. And today the hostel issue.

That guy (I forgot his name again, fuck, what's wrong with my brain), the care taker called me up to ask rhetorical questions about my absence from the hostel. Then he asked me to meet up and told me I was supposed to submit the hostel fees, although I haven't taken it up. What the FUCK. My exams starts in 20 minutes and you are threatening me for the hostel fees.

Finally I met up with him and after much begging could not convince him that this wasn't my fault. I didn't submit the fees as I had no intention of taking up the hostel. But his point was that in such a case, I should've submitted a cancellation application. And that the fees till now was due and had to be submitted to avoid further penalty. Damn it.

Had to run around the campus a lot, from hostel to bank and talk to jagbir and all his gang of government employees aka assholes. It made a bad impression. I've been in much opinion that my reputation has been on the decline ever since I took up Innovision. I feel scared walking in the campus now. Talking to people is a nightmare. My confidence is on an all time low. Shit. It feels bad.

After All

After all, it's flesh and blood!

Atoms and molecules!

Everything will die and will be born again!

So what's the point?

from long past - I wrote this in 2006

Among my recent influences about ancient indian culture, traditions and academics, I had a trip to chattarpur and akshardham temple situated in delhi....
I was on my bed dreaming that I was driving the new YAMAHA bike, the look was fantastic, the sound was charming, the gear box marvelous, I wanted to try the horn..
NO!!! but what it went like 'trriinngg'…the beep of a bicycle. I got up like hell… then….
OK…so it was the telephone..
My father called me and said that they were coming to pick me up as we had to visit the famous temples. It was a great surprise for me as well as a matter of disgrace as my studies were goin to get much worse
I hurriedly woke up and got ready just 5 seconds before a white qualis beeped and I met my parents which I was happy for as I was meeting them after a long time..
So we boarded the vehicle and flew along the roads of north delhi, crossed yamuna, crossed central delhi to reach chattarpur first..
The crowd was not very large but enough to let u know that aaj to mera din kharab hai .
Anyways we submitted our shoes and sandles at the store and got into the temple gate, which was not very big, as far as I know these big temples belong to many gods and goddesses. But the first image I saw was that of durga mata and there were other small temples. Well as u can see in the photo
we visited each of the temples, I did not much paid attention to the images, but all I saw that they were of gold.. I had other responsibilities such as to take care of my 4 yr old cousin, my grand parents and to serve as a link between the ladies much involved in sacred rituals and the gentlemen much giving a flying attention to the sculptures on the walls maintaining a 100 yards distance from the lady members... u see a common trend in most families.
We saw that there was a long queue which ended in a big hall at the front of a stall kind in the front of a durga shrine… they were giving halua puri …
But believe me the floor was diirrrtttyyy.. halua and oil all around.. my aunt gave a few words to the condition of the temple and compared it with the cleanliness of a gurudwara.. I did not much like the idea though….
There was a separate area which in the hot sun was quite lonely…
We saw a big hall like structure apart from the marvelous structures of hanuman, an Indian fairy..
Believe me… the hall was so cool opposite to the sun outside…
It had the grave of some…mahant.. the scent was cchhhaaarming.. of rajnigandha.flower
.
seeing that it was 1pm already, we headed for the akshardham temple.

Hmmmm…. Akshardham I sould say was better.
If the reader has visited the place, then I don't need to tell that our first impression is the marvelously carved temples as seen from outside…. And of course the huge parking slot apart from the large crowd.
I had visited the place before but the bad luck that time was that it was the first of January and Sunday…. A time I would never advice somebody to out…
Even this time it was Sunday and the crowd was enormous.
Well we checked in after a having hot coffee… with the remembrances of the past..
My father bought tickets which were new to me….. I mean I never saw them last time..
We proceeded to see a long queue… I mean lllloooonnnngggg queue …
The ticket had three halls- hall 1, hall 2 , hall 3…

Seeing the size of the hall 1, we knew that it was goin to be long…
OK so we, stood in the queue. To my pleasant surprise a few Chinese tourists stood behind me. O I love these people…. Besides I was attracted towards one of the girls..O man …. She was sweet.
If u know me well… then in front of beautiful girls I tremble like hell…
I did not dare to look behind even.. O man …. GOD help me…pplllleeaaaassseeee.
I thought abat what if she was my friend….
Man….. I was feeling it….. wwoooooowwwww…. BUT no….
What if she did to me what another beautiful girl did to me when I wanted to talk to her… a ssslllllaaaaappp…. Shit..
Hey all u dudes in love….believe me…. Never trust beautiful women… they created the human race and they are the one who will end it.
I could see that few people were tryin to get in front and my aunt was very angry at it and also giving a few more words to them…. To the british tourists…. Who were behaving like morons in saying "how insane" when somebody got in front and doing nothing after that….. I mean it was 2 and ½ hours since we were standing..
Thank god my girl was not the culprit…
I looked behind to see if she was in trouble…. OO N OOOOOO !!!!
She was gone…. These foreigners cannot stand even for 2 hours…
Aur ham BUS PASS ke liye to 2 ghante se 5 minute more khade rehte hain….. hai naaa
O common I was now feeling that it was really 2 hours..
By the way till we reached we concluded that today's day was a waste… hours of standing and nothing yet …..
So we entered the hall 1, where a man with frameless glasses, topless, in orange dhoti and a walky talky at his back… we thought yar technology bahut advance ho gayi hai yar….
We entered a dark room , but when the show started, the light effect was suupperb…
Believe me it was technology….. man… I never saw that before…
First room just introduced us what we were goin to see later…
They were telling us abat the life of some sadhu who founded the akshardham temples..
And his teachings… ten we proceeded to many rooms, which had
Animated statues cool background sense and lighting effects were hunk…
I never saw anything like that before… I was beginning to feel that our 150 Rs ticket and 2 and half hour long wait was not worth nothing…
Hall 2 was a cinema hall, where we saw a movie on the life of the same sadhu….
The movie was great. With elaborous scenes, cute characters, real time stunts, locations and high class acting on a massive scale… the parda was big enough ….. coolll
Believe me, if such movies were made on Ramayana… it would have been more hit than krissh..
Hey by the way have u seen the movie….?
Hall3 was kind of a boat sail, which went through a passage on both sides of which were statues animated fantastically…. Telling abat the history of India…. The underwater technology was mind blowing and the simulations were high class… I don't have words to describe it…
Then we saw a water dance show…. The best thing abat which that the music was created purely with Indian classical instruments, it was a large scale thing…. Hunk
I liked it very much … I mean it…. It was fantastic..
Thankfully though it was 11:30 and we were the last to come out of the gate..
Our driver was patient enough to wait for us… for which we thanked him//
So the day was over and I kept thinking abat the bbeeaauutiful girl.
Kash I could see her again.

self destruct

Why do I tend to self destruct sometimes. Knowingly I commit an act that brings me harm. Masochism. Obsession of being a masochist.

I'll give you an example. I was selected in the first round of Directi, a software company, for their internship program. And now that the second round is tomorrow, I purposely am not studying for that. I just don't feel like. I know that this is the best start I can get to get into software, the field that I so much wanna get into. But No. I'll self destruct. The End. And I can't explain why. The same reason was behind my under-average semester results.

Someone put some sense into me. Please.

Angry Lady

I was studying when I heard her shouting at the top of her voice.

She must have been in her 40s. The angry screams were coming from my neighborhood. Although the characters were not visible, her screams were quite omnipresent in the night silence that spread through the colony. When I came out in the veranda, a couple of more neighbors were gawking at the first floor house.

Just gawking. Just that. So what else can be done. What could I do. What would be the right thing to do. Try to place yourself in this situation. You don't know the neighbor well. It is in most chances some internal feud over some family issue. The 40 year old lady might be shouting at her son or daughter. For obvious reasons. What can we do? Should I just sit inside and bear the angry screams piercing the walls that separate our houses? I can't do that, as with those screams echoing, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. Let's say if I was, then it will be inhuman. Total control over emotions. Total control over when your brain throws questions at you. Calm and Serene I would be. As if I am in a separate universe.

The question still remains unanswered. What is the right thing to do? Should I just wait for this affair to get over, hoping that the lady will get tired at some point or some good-in-terms neighbor would step in and hold back the lady. Yea, that seems more logical. The world is too huge. We are too tiny. We can't keep a check on everything that goes around. But does that not show the unfeeling nature of humans? Are humans evolving? Evolving to be less sensitive? We have been evolving physically since ice age. Are we evolving mentally too?

obscurity

Things are getting obscure day by day

• listening to obscure music. psychedelic.
  
• browsing obscure websites
  
• waking up till obscure hours
  
• doing obscure things
  

Am I even alive? I don't feel myself. I laugh like a handicap. Talk like someone depressed. People laugh at me for no valid reason that I can comprehend. Is something wrong with the universe? Is our world collapsing? have I been subjected to be irrevocably high till eternity? I can't decode this obscurity.

demystified!

It feels like a new time. Traditions, Opinions are changing. Everyone seems to have transcended to this new land. Everything's new for me. Well, most of it.

I seem to have shifted from old school to the 4chan world. All the mysteries now seem to be dissolving away. "Oh, So this is where it came from." Gosh, so stupid. The world is not so perfect after all.

Hostel Life

FREEDOM

'Our life is easy coz we let it be.

phaltu ki tension nahin lete hain hum,

Food and friendship keep us alive,

Hail the hostlers, here we come'

If one has never been a hostler, life is indeed incomplete. I am sure our hostler alumni, as happy as they may be in their present lives; get all ecstatic on recalling their hostel life. Those days spent away from home, away from a shouting dad, away from an over-affectionate mother, away from the gully cricket with colony friends, away from that small room where we spent the two years of our lives studying hard and dreaming big; those days are just too difficult to forget. And believe me, nothing much has changed today from your time, about what hostel life used to be.

So what is hostel life all about?

It’s about four buddies sleeping on the same bed. And that being brotherhood and not gay-pankti.

It’s about staying awake late till night. And not letting anyone else sleep either.

It’s about getting up late in the morning. “Saale tune uthaya kyun nai? Grrr! Late hogye ab!”

It’s about the morning run from hostel to college to catch a lecture. "Shit yaar, aj phr se bahar nikal diya! attendance to short ni karega?"

It’s about borrowing money from a friend to pay for Ice Teas. "Kal de dunga bhai, pakka!"

It’s about boozing on the hostel terrace with your best friend. "Yaar my gf has dumped me (sobbing), it’s just you and me now.”

It’s about betting money on Poker and losing every time. "bhai mai to mazak kar raha tha!"

It’s about losing room keys. “Shit ,yar tere pas tala todne ke liye kuch pada h??”

It’s about studying together before exams. "aaj to pakka night out marna h! Don’t worry I’ve got something to keep us up!(winking)"

It’s about sitting blank in the exam. "Bohot ho gaya, no masti from tomoro”

It’s about locking ourselves inside the room when seniors came. "Abe tu jaa raha hai, to bahar se taala laga diyo"

It’s about researching new ways to smoke more stylishly. And teaching the non-smokers how to do it.

It’s the place of realizations. A place to learn how to deal with friends, good friends, not-so-good friends, best friends, bad-friends and even I-don’t-know-him friends. It’s a place to learn the realities of relationships, families, career and what not. It's a place to experience "life".

I don’t think I said enough to describe the profusion of events and experiences that hostel life has to offer. For our alumni, it might be some time since they left college; the postfix to BH might have increased from 1 to 4; the roadside noodle vendor might have given way to branded eat-outs; but the spirit of hostel remains the same: "FREEDOM"

- Roopam, 3rd year, ECE

noodles

The immense cold and my mom being lenient about my eating habits (thankfully) has pushed noodles as my primary evening breakfast lately.

And the art of preparing delicious noodles has been a recent acquisition of mine. :) Continuing with this newly discovered ability (or may be a no-brainer I am getting too excited about), I happened to bring home the maggie vegetable-atta-noodles for a change. Hmm, surprise indeed! It was yumm! I was a little happy that I could prepare that too! Cooking indeed seems to be a fascinating pastime. Yeah I know, it's just a maggie! But you know, slight miscalculations might lead to a mess. The amount of water being the only factor to be taken care of in this case. ( And I have had my share of messy lumps. ) After all preparing delicious food is about the right ingredients in the right amount.

solemn

:-|