Oct 15, 2010

dhoti clan!

Ya so it was after , like more than 9 yrs, that i was back in my hometown. It's the place where I was born and raised and have the earliest childhood memories of. My grandmother is an unfailing religious devotee and it sometimes surprises me how she manages to get up so early, despite her age and ill ness, and visit the nearby gayatri temple. Wisdom radiates from her fragile body. When I saw her after so long and I could feel how happy she was on having her family together after such a long time.

I was a little bewildered when she asked me to come to the temple with her that morning. Temples are not usually the place I idealize. And that was not it. The temple had a custom that all the males were supposed to come in dhoti kurta and sit in the havan. So I not only had to brave a temple visit but also wear a dhoti. Duh. And what could I say in front of my grannie. Yeah I feel so embarrassed, but thats how I looked. :P

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And that was not it. When I reached the temple, I shocked to see every male there in dhoti. Dude. I was feeling so shy with all the ladies and girls throwing occasional glances at me. Although my grannie said I was looking like a locale, like bengali guy. But that didn't help. Hmm. But in the havan section of the temple, everyone was wearing the same thing. The whole dhoti clan. Dude.

Finally everything was over and I barely spoke a syllable of the mantra that was being echoed everywhere. But I finally felt really proud of being an obeying grandson and me and my grannie went back home laughing and chilling like old buddies.

Oct 9, 2010

such a rush

"its such a rush to do nothing at all; such a fuss to get nowhere at all"

This is the conclusion that I land up to almost every other day. What I am doing feels more like an obligation, more of a rule; an illogical rush to achieve something immaterial. It feels like everything that is going on has no future; is useless in the long run. I often wonder 'whats the point?' and unable to answer, I continue doing my aimless monotony. Its like I can't run away from them. Its like I am trapped; trapped in the system.