claustrophobia?

This was no less than a nightmare. I was sitting in the class at 7:45 AM fighting nausea and trying to steady my breathing. Suddenly I was feeling more sick than ever.

Sitting there in the class I was weighing my options to go out making some excuse to the teacher and risking an already sinking reputation in front of other students (my college mates). But one thing that was clear enough was that I wouldn't survive like this for long. Either I had to rush to the washroom or puke here in front of all the people I knew. And besides I had no notion at all of what was being taught in the class. All I could hear was the churning inside my stomach.

A particular jolt of nausea caught me off guard and I suddenly leaped to my feet walking towards the door. My teacher, as I noticed then was busy answering the question of one of the students. I just whispered "washroom, sir" as I passed him and came out the door. It all happened so fast, that I had no time to check his reaction. But I could finally breathe. This was victory. But the nausea was still brewing, so I headed straight for the washroom and let the stomach take control.

This was certainly a bad day. A very bad day. In there, waiting for my stomach to relax, the thought that constantly tortured me was if someone outside was listening to my sufferings or probably waiting for the room to be free. I wondered how self conscious I was and unnecessarily perceptive. What the hell! And specially after this my confidence will be on an all time low. Specially in dealing with my batch mates who I think look down upon me (or is it just my over analysis).

Finally I came out and was relived to find no one in the vicinity. I checked the watch and there was still an hour and a half left for the class to get over. There was no question of me going back in again. So I came out the building and headed for the foggy roadsides. The cold was unbearable but I was more than thankful to breathe again. The morning sun was just visible in the fog covered horizon. I ached for sunlight; and kept walking in a hope to find it.

I tried to analyze what had just happened. I had slept late last night, almost 3am. Got up at 6 and had maggi and had left for CP soon after. I was early, surprisingly, as I never did better than a 15min late in the class. Sir hadn't yet arrived and as I sat in my usual last bench; I felt suffocated. I didn't give it much notice except when it was replaced by nausea. I grew sick and the next thing I could remember was my difficult breathing and disorientation. What could it be probably? Claustrophobia? I don't know. I never felt suffocated in classrooms until today. It could also have been sleep deprivation and indigestion. Talking about this at home was out of question. I rarely share anything with my family.

So what now? I'll probably do some googling on this subject and see if I can help myself - While I thought all this, I realized I had gone a little too far but finally the sun was out and shining on me. I felt far better and in control of myself. It was also time so I went back to collect my bag which I had left in the classroom and then headed straight to home.